ENJOYING YOUR AUDIENCES
Last evening I visited my 98 year old mother in the Memory Care section of her retirement residence. Weakened with dementia and a painful back, she nevertheless still has a wild spirit, artistic temperament, love of language (English and French) and an outgoing, self-important social nature.
When I walked into the dining room I saw that she was fuming, spitting fire. Knowing she can easily have tantrums and cruelly verbally attack those around her when she is frustrated, I rushed to her side, sitting close beside her to calm her and help her change her attitude. She sputtered that one of the other residents wouldn't talk with her, was just looking at her with no expression on her face, that it was infuriating and that the woman should not be allowed to behave that way.
I talked with her about love, how these people are not capable because of their health condition to respond to her the way she would like them to. That they are very vulnerable and their feelings would be terribly hurt if she is mean to them. I tried to tell her in a way that was not scolding, just informative, that it was important for her to be kind to the people there - all of them. That even if she felt frustrated, picking on her fellow residents was not OK.
She finally got it. She was very apologetic. I could see she was seesawing back and forth emotionally between her anger and her embarrassment and shame. And I knew that she would not remember anything we talked about because of her short term memory loss and the same behavioral dynamic would likely be there again the next day or minute.
* * * * * * * *
One way to look at it this: your audience members are individuals who are all in their own dreams - whether affected by dementia or not. They have their own universes, networks, agendas, cares, concerns, wishes, frustrations, lists, etc., and you have absolutely no control over any of it.
What you can do is research and analyze your audience carefully prior to your presentation so that you can tailor your offering to their interests, needs and issues. Create relationships with them, invite them to participate with you, inspire them to share their ideas with each other, empower them to take action, and be inclusive in your language and manner.
But you cannot assume that they will be interested or respond in any way. You must take the responsibility for the relationship, using a combination of your personal enthusiasm in your subject, interest in them and empathy. You can do all the preparation, but unlike my Ma, you do have the ability to let go of any thoughts of control over the outcome.
* * * * * * * *
Posts
