Practice Tips: Inspiration and Reminders to help you become a Great Speaker

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

GIVING & RECEIVING


· Would you give someone a gift
and walk away without staying there a moment while they receive it?

· Would you throw a ball
and not keep your attention on the receiver to see if the ball was caught?

· Would you prepare the soil,
put a plant or seed in the ground and then just leave it there?


When we are making a presentation we often feel compelled to fill the room with words, a kind of out-pouring, full of nervous chatter rather than intentioned communication. We feel it is our job to provide, that the direction of the dynamic energy in the room moves only from us to them. "Get it out and get it over!" our little monkey-mind voice whispers in our ear.

However, the easiest and most effective way for us to have a true communication experience with our audience is to pay attention to them, to "receive" their presence, to converse with one person at a time, to treat each one as a very important person, to care for them and make sure they understand and feel comfortable participating in the conversation.

While a massage therapist gives energy to the body by stimulating the nerves and muscles she or he also receives information from the body as well, noticing the differences between the sides of the body, the patterns of tightness and reactions to touch. The therapist then responds and adjusts to this information.

In much the same way, our job as presenters is to gather information while we are presenting - watching and listening to see how we are being received by our audiences, noticing the patterns of response, what moves them, amuses them, when they need more information and when they have had enough.

The rhythm of this giving and receiving is determined by the natural breath - the inhalation and exhalation. The breath relaxes and calms the body, mind and spirit. Our brains are fueled by the oxygen of the breath. But when we hold ourselves tightly due to anxiety or when we race to get all of the planned agenda accomplished, we forget to breathe sufficiently for our brain to function properly, causing a temporary loss of focus.

We suddenly wonder who we are, where we are and what we were supposed to be saying. We lose our way. We lose our place. We feel ashamed. We hope nobody noticed. We fear that we have exposed ourselves as incompetent.

But there is an antidote: take a big breath, and re-engage with your audience members, one person at a time, with receptive soft focus, to give them a moment or two of your attention.

In sum, to engage our audiences we speak with one person at a time as if we were tossing a ball to them, carefully planting an idea in them or giving a gift to them. We keep breathing as we do this, and in this way we and our audiences both give and receive - we engage, we exchange and we communicate!


Happy Holidays!

If you would like to learn to give and receive when making presentations, come to our Speaking from the Heart workshop in Seattle on Friday, January 29th, 1-6.  Small supportive group, lots of practice, video feedback, coaching. See details