TRANSPARENCY

That is what we crave when we are communicating with people, isn't it?

Not the propped up, slick, guarded, same old blah, blah, blah.

When we are meeting new people, don't we love it when they are transparent, able to make a real connection with us, truly listening and have the capacity to drop their agenda and hang with us, let us see them?

As presenters, when we are hit with the normal adrenalin rush that comes naturally in anticipation of being up in front of a group, or having intense attention paid to us when we speak in a meeting, it can be challenging to be transparent.  Our brain function shifts and without our full neo-cortex capacity, we are left with our survival response to fight or flee.  In that moment we see our audiences as predators and we begin to act as prey.  If not trained as warriors, we drift toward flight, obfuscating and rushing, flustered and covering our vulnerable selves with puffery.  We are not really present, just a blur, hurtling toward the end of our presentation, filled with dread, shame  and remorse.

We really do not have to suffer this way.  It is possible for us to keep our sense of ourselves and our core message, and our mission for our presentation.  We can be present to our audiences, develop relationships with them during our presentations, inspiring them to action, encouraging them to participate and contribute their good ideas and energies to the conversation.  In order to do this we must first learn to speak from the heart, to breathe, to converse with one person at a time, to allow ourselves to be transparent and openhearted.

Learning to do this is like learning a new move, a dance step or athletic exercise.  It requires guidance and practice.  Begin with the breath - since our brains run on oxygen, we must learn to use the breath to relax and fuel up so we can be smart in the moment.  Controlling our gaze is another key element, so we may "trick" our brains to return our clear-thinking and engaging capacities.  And of course, practice is the third element to master transparency.

If you would like to become transparent as a presenter, come to our Speaking from the Heart. workshop in Seattle on Friday, December 4th, 1-6.  Small supportive group, lots of practice, video feedback, coaching.  Find out about this workshop and others here

PRACTICE

My colleague, coach Melissa West and I were on our weekly Greenlake walk, and spied this bright fellow whizzing by on his unicycle - wow! So colorful and well-balanced . . .

So the next time he came by we talked with him. How did he choose the unicycle? He, Sanjay, told us he was a bicyclist who found himself passed by a unicyclist last year on the annual Seattle to Portland trek, the famous STP ride. So he vowed to learn it. He said it took him 3 months of daily practice to master the balance aspect of it.

Daily practice - yes! That is what it takes for mastery - daily practice. The unexpected benefit he said was more life balance as well.

There are always unexpected benefits from daily practice -
whether it is a work out at the gym, running, the breathing exercises I am always touting, meditation, flossing . . . .

Inner strength, mostly . . . confidence.

Try it!

BREATHE . . .

The word “inspiration” means to inhale, to take in, to breathe.

Breathing fully, deeply and consciously is perhaps the most important habit we can cultivate for our health, happiness and effectiveness as speakers.

Our brains run on oxygen, supplied by blood from our lungs. The pattern of breathing, the in and out in a consistent rhythm, keeps us balanced, free of anxiety.

When we are tense, we hold our breath, breaking the pattern, and depriving our brains of fuel.

We go blank and cannot remember what we were thinking about. We panic, forgetting who we are, where we are, and what we wanted to say.

The only antidote is to take a deep breath.

Our audiences also need to breathe in order to understand, to fully integrate and to later accurately remember our conversation with them.

To be most effective, take a full breath before beginning to speak, pause and breathe between ideas to refresh your mind and theirs, and take a full breath at the end during the applause.

Breathe!

© 2008 Constance Miller All rights reserved.

4:40 on the 520

Stuck in traffic? Need to be wary of rear-ending the car in front?

Take this perfect time to practice your breathing exercises. This will calm your nerves, help you be more relaxed when you get to your destination, perhaps help you avoid a rush-hour collision, and develop your ability to be a great speaker!

One such exercise is to:

inhale for a count of 6
hold your breath for a count of 4
exhale for a count of 8
and then hold for a count of 4


Repeat this cycle for 3-5 minutes if possible.

Exhaling longer than inhaling is good - getting rid of the stale air at the bottom of your lungs gives you more fresh air when you inhale. Develop those abdominal muscles that will strengthen your voice when you need to communicate with a larger group.

For more breathing exercises, email me! connie@pivotalpresentations.com

And yes, give the car in front of you some space - at least 1.5 car lengths - and let someone else in.

Breathe.